Good resource on divorce, annulments, and like matters

A commenter some weeks ago offered to send me a report prepared by the organization Mary’s Advocates on the matters of the Church’s current handling of divorce, separation, and annulment. I had seen a bit of material from Mary’s Advocates before, and knew they approached these subjects from an orthodox Catholic perspective.  I received the report several weeks ago, and I would like to thank Mary’s Advocates for sending it.  It is a really valuable resource.  Unfortunately, it’s much too detailed and informative to cover in a blog post, but if you are interested, you can see it all online here.

Mary’s Advocates is a group of Catholics dedicated to defending both the sanctity of the Sacrament of Marriage as well as the rights of married people confronted with a spouse seeking separation, divorce, and/or annulment.  I think it fair to say that Mary’s Advocates sees great problems and gross injustices in the present manner in which the Church (in this country in particular) handles divorce and subsequent annulments.  I think it also fair to say that Mary’s Advocates sees in these proceedings frequent injustices, and grave ones at that, against spouses who want to remain faithful to their marriage even after their spouse has “moved on.”  Too often in the Church in this country, the doctrinal and “pastoral” approach is oriented towards regularizing divorce proceedings by obtaining annulments, and encouraging the abandoned spouse to similarly “move on.”  This can be a crushing blow to spouses who recognize their marriage as valid from the start and who reject (or strongly doubt) the validity of the decrees of nullity almost always granted when requested (and almost always overturned by Rome when a spouse has the gumption to appeal their case to the Roman Rota).

Mary’s Advocates had hoped their report and broader concerns would get a hearing at the Extraordinary on the Family this past October.  Of course, the focus of the Synod was predominately in the opposite direction.  Nevertheless, this news report on their hopeful efforts last fall sheds a lot of light on the group and its aims:

Rev. Chuck Zmudzinski, a canon lawyer, has recommended the observations offered by Mary’s Advocates. He hopes that they succeed in their efforts to find Catholics bishops willing to speak up for the rights of spouses who want to protect their marriages from divorce and uphold the validity of their marriages in nullity proceedings conducted by church tribunals.

Mary’s Advocates quoted Fr. Zmudzinski as pointing out “the possibility that the Church is actually promoting divorce by ignoring the canonical requirement that a spouse obtain the bishop’s permission before approaching the civil forum for a decree of separation or divorce.” [This is a huge source of scandal.  So often, the way the Church in the US handles divorce today actually encourages it, because instead of the Church doing everything in its power to prevent the dissolution of marriages, they basically stand back and let the spouses separate and divorce, demanding a civil decree of divorce before annulment will even be considered (a positive encouragement of divorce, right there),  and then, after the marriage is already shattered, try to find grounds for why it was invalid in the first place.  At each step, the bias is towards normalizing, and not opposing, divorce]

In the Observations’ introduction, Bai Macfarlane of Mary’s Advocates writes, “From a layperson’s point of view, there is a notable difference between the pastoral care described in the Catechism and the Canon Law, in contrast to the prevalent pastoral practice in the United States. Simply put, many of the faithful believe that divorce is a morally neutral occurrence, and many diocesan staff personnel seem to agree—separation of spouses, the break-up of marriages, and divorce are things that ‘just happen.’” See Observations here.[I think that a pretty accurate description]

Macfarlane also wrote “Chanceries appear to have no system to assist bishops in weighing the special circumstances of a marriage before a spouse files for divorce or separation in the civil forum. This weighing of circumstances is required by canon law as described herein. Numerous faithful do not know or do not care that forcing divorce—outside of specifically limited circumstances—is immoral, contravenes the moral law, and is a grave offense against the natural law.” [Well, decades of handling the epidemic of Catholic divorce (with among the highest rates of any religious body in the US) with a wink and a nod have certainly helped encourage the perception of divorce as “morally neutral.” The entire setup of the annulment system in most dioceses conveys the strong impression that all marriages are only conditionally valid until the spouses are separated by death.  This is an intolerable situation for the Sacrament to endure]

She went on to say, “… For those who withdraw from marriage for no morally legitimate reason, if bishops would authoritatively instruct them of their obligation to restore common conjugal life, then a number of families could be saved from no-fault divorce. The person deserting the marriage could choose to work with those experienced in helping marriages, rather than hiring divorce lawyers.”……. [That’s the approach one would think the Church would take, if the prime interest was in maintaining the sanctity of the Sacrament and not seeing souls devastated.  It would take a huge shift in emphasis and pastoral concern for this to occur, however.  For one, most bishops very strongly convey the notion that meeting with lay people (save for insiders/major donors) on any kind of a regular basis is among their lowest priorities. Second, many bishops are so rarely in their dioceses (or are reported by the chancery staff to be so rarely in their diocese) that logistics for this kind of effort would be  quite difficult. It would require bishops be “at home” much more often, which many, like Blaise Cupich, are loathe to do.  It should be noted, however, there are a handful of bishops who do perform such vital pastoral care]

…….In the Mary’s Advocates Observations, a ruling by the Vatican Signatura (or high court)  about the so-called Denial of the Right of Legitimate Defense in marriage annulment proceedings is discussed, while the tribunals that appear to have violated church law are also listed. Mary’s Advocates finds that when a spouse who has no morally legitimate reason for separation, forces a divorce on his or her family, the Catechism teaches that said person has committed an immoral, grave offence against nature. Judges in the Civil Law forum, thanks to no-fault divorce, do not inform parties of their obligation to keep their marriage vows. Mary’s Advocates asks whether those forcing unjust divorce should be corrected officially by the Church: “A diocesan hands-off policy with respect to separation and divorce gives scandal to everyone because everyone, understandably, concludes that there is nothing wrong with leaving one’s spouse.”

I would just add this bit in conclusion.  There are many apologists for the approach taken by the vast majority of dioceses in this country regarding divorce and decrees of nullity.  They say the system is as fair as can be given the climate of acceptance of divorce in this country (which climate the Church does almost nothing, publicly, to oppose).  They also say the current structure demanding finalized civil divorce before consideration of nullity is the only realistic option.  I would counter by saying, if this is truly the case, why do there remain some dioceses in this country where obtaining an annulment is all but impossible (Colorado Springs and Lincoln are some examples)?  Catholics divorce in those dioceses, too, but the local bishop takes seriously his responsibility to uphold marriage and not operate an annulment mill.  And, of course, we also know that the United States alone generates about 80% of all the annulments in the world, whereas other countries where divorce is just as rampant have annulment rates orders of magnitude less than that in the US.  So, it is quite apparent that the US practice is both singular, and quite contrary to the understanding of the Church in the vast majority of countries – one might even say, of the universal Church.

If you are a Catholic facing the terrible situation of abandonment and pursuit of divorce by your estranged spouse, do check out Mary’s Advocates.  For those who honor their marriage vows in the face of such abandonment, you have my admiration and my prayers.