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If this is what it takes to be a modern man, no wonder Bruce Jenner wanted out October 1, 2015

Posted by Tantumblogo in asshatery, blogfoolery, family, foolishness, General Catholic, huh?, It's all about the $$$, rank stupidity, sadness, silliness, Society.
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So a liberal NYT writer (I repeat) has authored a piece on what it is to be a “modern man.”  The result is about what you would expect, a whimpering metrosexual ninny who knows more about nail files than he does about gaping spark plugs.

I agree with Ace.  This is pure click-bait, a deliberately obtuse effort designed to spark outrage and attract the maximum number of hits.  But I imagine their are elements of truth in it, like the author’s obsession with footwear or his inadvertant revelations of his ladylike attention to other people’s feelings.  It also reveals a man who probably spends very little time outside his precious city.

Since I strongly suspect this is at least a somewhat disingenuous effort only put forth to attract hits, I won’t link to it.  You can find it through Ace’s post if you want.  Ace took a lot of it anyway, which I’ll copy and comment on:

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small. [My wife would probably want to go meet with the priest if I started buying shoes for her]

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch. [Fillet’s are not known for their fat.  You mean strip or sirloin?]

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night. [Rock on, superdad!]

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door. [WTF?!??  Who is obsessive enough to care? I’m sure they’re Coke Zero, anyway]

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.  [Well, aren’t we a dandy?  Can you see all us little people from up there, perched on your lofty heights?]

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day. [Yeah, well, I try to teach my kids something every day, too.  I gave my second oldest daughter (try having 6) a lecture on the GULAG system yesterday.]

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away. [You show ’em, tiger. I pray you never have a son]

11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will. [Well we agree on one thing]

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out. [I’m sitting here, mouth agape.  Did I just read that, as a DEFINITION OF MANHOOD?!?!?]

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords. [Get you a pair of Red Wings and maybe you’ll put a little peach fuzz on]

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away. [Yeah, well, I lie closer to the door but I also have two guns within arm’s length.  I win.]

17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped? [These are not the balls you’re looking for]

18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry. [How about the decent man?]

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield. [Well, we now know who the “man” in the family is]

23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time). [I prefer John Wayne. Just watched The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance again. What a film!  Talk about men!  Lee Marvin was a MAN]

24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it. [I am astonished at this man’s bravery.  How he shames the men who fought and won WWII]

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will. [Better pray he never runs across an un-modern criminal who carries one.  Me, I think a man ought to own 5 or 10]

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

Oh I give up.  Definitely click bait, but sheesh, how pathetic can you be?

If this is a man, Bruce Jenner didn’t lose much by pretending to be a woman, does he?

Comments

1. Baseballmom - October 1, 2015

5-10 firearms TB? What, you just gettin’ started or somethin’??? 😏

Jo - October 2, 2015

LOL!!! The Firearm Starter kit, by Ruger!

I have at least that many…that doesn’t include my spousal units “kit”

Tantumblogo - October 2, 2015

Yeah yeah I have MY 10 it’s my wife who’s dangerously behind

Jo - October 2, 2015

Tantum, she need to get busy and start shopping! Gun stores are the new shoe stores.

She has little ones to protect.

Tantumblogo - October 2, 2015

I wish. She’s happy with her .380. Good shot, though. Given how little she shoots, she’s a surprisingly good shot.

2. Brian E. Breslin - October 2, 2015

Excellent comments, Tantum- but seriously, do we know who Michael Mann is?

Tantumblogo - October 2, 2015

He directed some pretty good movies – Collateral, The Aviator, The Last of the Mohicans…….but he’s far from a household name. I’m sure it was name dropping to prove how smart he is

Jo - October 2, 2015

Oxymoron?

3. c matt - October 2, 2015

[Yeah, well, I lie closer to the door but I also have two guns within arm’s length. I win.]

Gun? You girly man! Should be a machete!

Other than the correction for his misuse of filet, I can’t find too much fault with #4.

#17 was freaking hilarious!!

4. Lynne - October 2, 2015

The pickings are slim for future-husband material out there for my daughter!

5. tg - October 2, 2015

I enjoyed your comments especially the one about shoes. What self respecting man would buy a woman shoes! I also agree on John Wayne and Lee Marvin. I watch old western shows like Rawhide, The Rifle Man. Religious people are always shown in a positive light. Wanted Dead or Alive had a show with nuns in it. It was funny when the nuns walk in a saloon and everyone just stops and stares. However, all the men stood up and took their hat off.

6. Judy - October 2, 2015

Best laugh of my day. Favorite line: “These are not the balls you’re looking for.” Only I’m not fully convinced he would find those if he looked down either.
Effeminate men are just creepy. Who the heck would find this crying melon-baller attractive?
And a real man in Texas should keep some Dr. Pepper on hand, even if he doesn’t drink it himself, for the benefit of his guests. It goes right next to the Shiner Bock.

Tantumblogo - October 7, 2015

Excuse this recovering alkies lack of Shined. I do like my Dr. Pepper, though. So does Michael Voris, incidentally.

7. Gary - October 3, 2015

I bought my boys guns for wedding presents. I love this blog. Lord save us from the liberal elements ⛪️🙏

8. Mrs. Pat Scott Houston, Texas - October 3, 2015

He described a “girlie” man. That was a “fussy” man he described, one I would not want to know–or even be a neighbor to. No thanks..

9. David - October 3, 2015

In the past 15-20 years, I have met grown men who could barely change a car tire, operate a screwdriver or a hammer, and some that had trouble reading a map. I think some of it is their dads never taught them these things. My Dad taught me how to fix a few things ( including changing car oil) which save money. I have been in situations where a car tire needed changed, or I helped someone out of a jam.


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