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How to Amend a Sacrilegious Marriage                  October 17, 2016

Posted by Tantumblogo in awesomeness, Basics, catachesis, family, General Catholic, Grace, Interior Life, reading, Sacraments, Society, Tradition, Virtue.

I’m reading a neat little 90 year old book called Plain Talks on Marriage by Fr. Fulgence Meyer OFM.   Fr. Meyer addresses a point that is often overlooked, given the many problems afflicting marriage in the Church today (and the growing assaults on marriage coming even from the Vatican itself), but which may be even more widespread a phenomenon in this day and age than divorce and remarriage or infidelity.

The problem is reception of the Sacrament of Marriage in an unworthy, sacrilegious manner,  due to circumstances Fr. Meyer outlines below.  He also advises how one can amend for such an unworthy reception of the Sacrament, which is, after all, equal to Baptism, Confirmation, and even the Eucharist in nature.

From pp. 32-4:

You say……..that you have been married in keeping with the requirements of the Church; you were married, perhaps, with considerable ceremony.  Were  you in the state of Grace when you married?  Matrimony is a Sacrament of the living, and the recipient must not be conscious of an unforgiven mortal sin.  There are those who before marriage, in the period of courtship, sin flagrantly with each other by indulging in, or allowing, improprieties, indecent liberties, and shocking intimacies.  When they go to Confession before marriage, they are ashamed or too proud to admit these mortal sins.  They willfully make an invalid Confession, receive Holy Communion unworthily, and are married validly, indeed, yet sacrilegiously.  No wonder that they do not receive the grace of the sacrament, and that their married life is unhappy in consequence.  They started it out altogether wrong, even with the curse of God[One wonders how many failed marriages, subsequent divorces, and then even remarriages, have started out in this failed way as the couples involved were fornicating prior to marriage and never confessed the sin, and even received the Sacrament unworthily and sacrilegiously?  I suspect it is a huge source of the calamity that has befallen Catholic marriage.] What are they to do to set matters right?

All they need to do is to make a good general Confession covering the entire period from their last worthy Confession to the present time.  This Confession is not at all hard for those who have the will to get back to God.  The priests will give you what help you need, supposing you are in this plight.  And do not believe you are the first one to tell this story to the priest. He has heard it often before, and he will hear it again in the future.  Human nature is the same everywhere and at all times.  So take heart and make a clean breast of it in the spirit of true and humble contrition.  Then, when you receive absolution, you will get not only the graces of holy penance, but also those of matrimony.  They have been and are only suspended, waiting for the hindrance of mortal sin to be removed from your soul.  No sooner the hindrance is gone, the suspension will cease, and the graces of marriage will flood, strengthen and rejoice your soul.  [And, almost certainly, dramatically improve the marriage in question as those Graces long denied flood in to work their supernatural effects]

———-End Quote————-

We live in really messed up times. Practically the entire world – “friends,” peers, media, government, the demons, etc. – scream at us from a very early age to do really bad things unless one is among the very few lucky ones to have been an early homeschooler, or somehow raised by exceptionally pious and attentive parents.  I know I certainly did fall for a lot of lies the world peddles, and they seriously messed me up.

But one of the infinite number of wonderful aspects of our God is that He forgives totally, and is a an infinitely generous giver.  Once we have true contrition and make a good confession, He will flood ourselves with graces and gifts totally unearned by us, and impossible to repay, but He will send them all the same.  They can turn around situations that seem impossible to repair by human means.  I’ve certainly seen that happen more than once.  Don’t give up!

And don’t ever let some false authority figure in the Church tell you that divorce is OK, that’s it’s not that bad, that the Church (re: Franky) is providing a “do-over,”  that God “understands,” and all the similar lies.  Go to Confession, trust in God, and pray!  That is the best way to a happy life, not serial divorce/civil remarriage and the carousel of degrading use of the marital faculties that involves.

May God have mercy on all those experiencing marital pain, and who need the cleansing regeneration of Confession.


1. Baseballmom - October 17, 2016

This explains so much.. very easy to see how so many marriages never started out filled with the grace of the sacrament. And priests MUST EMPHASIZE that a good a thorough confession be mad before entering into Holy Matrimony.

Baseballmom - October 17, 2016

“and thorough”

2. Valdemar - October 17, 2016

What a really great; practical, doctrinally sound article!
I am going to pray that we get THIS type of material from our prelates. Can you imagine if this type of teaching was what we got a steady diet of from out leadership instead of the political/economic and environmental malarkey we get that so frequently we can do nothing about anyhow?

Thanks for a very good piece.

3. dthy - October 18, 2016

Another part of the problem is the scandalously immodest way that some of the brides are dressed on their wedding day. How many of the men are led to sin in this way. I wonder how she can stand before the priest dressed like that. Out of respect for her personal privacy and dignity, we should all avoid, so far as possible, looking at her lack of clothing.

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